Q: My first CT scan with oral contrast is coming up soon and my friends offer conflicting advice on which prep beverage I should choose. do you recommend the Creamy Vanilla Smoothie or the Koolaid Gone Wild Party Punch? Rookie Patient
A: You may more fully appreciate the charming nomenclature of prep beverage choices, R.P., when you scan the following resume highlights of the marketing whiz who named both of these pharmaceutical marvels. Perhaps his best known achievement was during his stint in suburban real estate development when he crafted the new identity, "Feather Flower Estates" to replace the more technically accurate, "Toxic Nuclear Waste Dump." His foray into the country music industry created numerous linguistic dazzlers; most notably, "I'm Red, White and Blue, But I'll Never Be Over You," recently adopted by the Republican party in tribute to Rush Limbaugh. The popular accomplishments of this versatile genius are all the more impressive considering the entirety of his career has been conducted from a locked psychiatric ward, with no exposure whatever to reality of any kind.
I have tried both of the imaginatively named beverages you mention and an alternative CT cocktail at the Mayo Clinic. Since my Mother always said, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," thank you for your question and good luck to you! Center Sasster
10 comments:
Wouldn't it be nice if more people developing these "beverages" actually tasted them, and experienced their after effects?
If that guy wasn't already locked up, I'd be thinking about making a special visit to see him.
Hope you feel better soon!
I could give you some other potential names for those drinks, but it sounds like a job better left for Swearing Sasster. Hope you feel better soon!
No kidding, where's J.C. when we need him? C'mon Spandex Man!
I don't know any unique names for the "cocktail" however I can offer you this advice, don't choose something that you like, because after this it will never taste good to you again!
I hope you feel better, and have a good trip to Hawaii
Sounds worse than a Prairie Fire.
For those that aren't familiar, a Prairie Fire consists of a shot of house tequila mixed with Tabasco sauce.
Nasty stuff and also has the side effect of making people sick afterwards.
What, no Sarsaparilla Sensation? Amateur.
Feel better soon, Janet! <3
Hi Janet,
Sorry that the cocktails are so yucky. I have just started reading the entries here, and I really like the remarks about enduring, rather than beating, life
Cindy
I have used our mother's quote on my own kids and the millions of schoolkids I have taught over the years and it is quite applicable in many situations. In this instance, however, I think even our mother would have had something to say about you even having to drink the nasty stuff. Her comment wouldn't have been off-color, of course, unless she got her "hmmm"'s in the wrong place! Feel better quickly--we need to talk Grandma stuff soon!
I think Grandma Greene may have uttered "Christmas!" in this situation. :)
In my excitement, I neglected to mention the final selling point of the CT drinks- that lingering aftertaste! The topnote is your tonsils dipped in aluminum, with a
subtle nod to chrome on the second and third day after. But, thanks to your advice, next time I'll request a Prairie Fire with a Sarsaparilla chaser. Yum!!
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